On top of dealing with the consequences of a severe second wave of COVID-19 cases, it feels like so many things have been piled on in the last few weeks.
In order to make sense of it all, I’m going to focus on one experience I was able to have.
My head and my heart have been struggling to find the right way to use this platform to be part of the fight for racial equality in our country. Even if it’s my own self created site, it feels important to use it responsibly.
Two weeks ago I convinced one of my dear friends to get on the phone with me and talk about everything from his favorite foods and dream vacations to why he felt a calling to be a vocal part of the push for racial equality and the dismantling of institutions and systems that are prejudiced and problematic.
So who is this guy?
Michael Malique McManus is a professional dancer and dance teacher currently living in Salt Lake City. He was born and raised in Bennettsville, South Carolina, and attended the University of South Carolina. He completed his degree with a major in United States History and a minor in dance. His favorite food is macaroni & cheese and he is averse to anything green. Michael’s favorite sport to watch is Women’s Indoor Volleyball, his favorite color is blue and his favorite musical performing artist is Beyoncé. For his dream vacation he would love to visit a natural hot spring in Iceland, or the picturesque city of Amsterdam. He can’t ride a bike and he prefers the beach over the mountains or a lake.
A pivotal moment in Michael’s dance career came when he was selected (1 out of 5 students) to take class with Ailey II when they performed in his hometown. His favorite performance to date was performing Honor and Ash by Shaun Boyle at the Kennedy Center for ACDA in 2018.
The conversation then transitioned to topics specifically concerning social justice movements and their demands. I sought out Michael specifically because he has regularly used his social media platform to educate, acknowledge, and explain many of these demands in addition to expressing his own opinions and feelings as a Black man living in the U.S.
Another reason I find Michael’s input so valuable is because of his degree. His scholarship of history, notably U.S. history is evident in the way he speaks about the U.S.’s institutions and the way they have systemically oppressed and marginalized the BIPOC communities. In his words, “Studying history has allowed me to find an identity of my blackness”. Importantly, he noted that being in Utah, far from his hometown and from many of the cities where there are profound protests, has contributed to his need to be more involved. He cited driving feelings of separation and detachment that are specifically pushing him to be vocal in ways he can.
Upon further questioning about why Michael felt so called to speak up, he explained that there is a misconception that today’s activism is “new”. This sort of public mobilization for social justice actually isn’t new, the difference is that today more allies are listening. Social media has added to the reach and the passion – so the activism isn’t necessarily different or more, it’s just more expansive. He went on to explain that as a whole we have more education, and our age group particularly is more aware and willing to be re-educated. “I’ve always felt a call to [be a part of] racial justice. I’ve always understood that I am different because I’m albino. There’s an extra need for me to speak up and speak out.”
Because he uses social media as his main means for communication, I was curious if Michael felt the draining effects of social media fatigue many people (including myself) are falling victim to. His answer? Yes. He pointed out that there’s always a story, or event, or something to discuss. Despite the fatigue, he has a hard time actually separating and detaching. “You just need to speak, no matter who is listening”.
Michael’s take on the slogan, “silence is violence”:
“I agree, I will say with the caveat – there are levels to how we speak out about what what’s going on. I guess I have my own code, but I’m all about speaking from a place of knowledge. It’s ok to take time and be silent, so long as you’re using that time to educate. We need to be able to have a conversation and a dialogue.”
Michael and I have known each other for about 6 years now, and I’ve had the privilege to be a part of his vast set of friends – many of whom come from different backgrounds, lifestyles, races, religions, etc. After pressing him on the effect this diverse community is having on him, he candidly stated that he is currently struggling with managing his white friends. He acknowledged that he has felt some pressure in policing himself and his words in order to keep the peace, so as not to push them away and keep them involved. Often times he feels like he can’t honestly express his anger and frustration and for that to be ok.
I was also interested to hear his take on how we move forward within our current institutions, or if we really do need to scrap them and try again. “I’ve really battled with this, but so many Americans don’t understand what [real] change looks like, and they don’t want to imagine it. Fear of [the] unknown in this country scares the sh!t out of everyone”.
On the topic of reparations:
“Reparations look like Black people having less of a chance to fall on hard times that will further oppress them. Cancellation of student debt, free schooling, a national loan approval – a way for Black people to get some equal footing. Giving Black children a chance to not be born into a place that puts them behind just for being born. Helping us operate in the system.”
When asked if he had anything to add, Michael told me this,
“I don’t want people to see what’s happening now and be sad. Just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Just because you don’t live it, doesn’t mean it’s not possible. We have to acknowledge that while American Dreams are real and true, they are layered and tiered based on the way we’ve created this society. Because of that white people specifically have to be willing to sit with the fact that everything they’ve been taught in school, learned at church, read or been taught could be completely different than actual lived experiences of people. Small things that you grew up experiencing that keep being reinforced are your truth”.
I considered myself a very educated person prior to the protests incited by George Floyd’s death. The reality is that my education has its limits and it’s up to me to fill in the gaps and correct the misinformation – whether it was given to me purposefully or not. In an ideal world we would take the time to get to know people before we make assumptions or generalizations, but we don’t live in an ideal world. To make even minuscule steps towards that idyllic place, we have to deconstruct the generalizations we’ve been taught. And while it sounds daunting and we may want to get defensive, the resources are there – it’s up to us to choose our journey.
*all images of Michael are taken by Mandy Dyer (@mandydyerphoto)
