We’re still barely into 2019, so the year is stacked with possibilities. Starting fresh brings hopes and plans for healthier, more sustainable habits. The hard part is that habits don’t just “happen”, we have to actively create them.
I know I personally have plenty of negative habits. It was only very recently that I stopped biting my nails to embarrassingly short lengths. I’m not proud of those days. But I worked diligently to break that habit, and continue to work on shedding other bad habits while also building and maintaining healthier habits.
It’s not been easy. The habits I am trying to build center a lot around “self-care”. But defining self care isn’t always so simple.
“Self care” is a term I think often gets misconstrued. We like to perceive it as more of a luxurious activity centered around putting ourselves first and treating ourselves.
By all means am I not saying to stop putting yourself first or stop treating yourself. But realistically self care is a lot more than that. I once read that self care is “more than bubble baths and chocolate cake”. That phrase sticks out to me most when I scroll through my social media and see accounts touting self care suggestions and vulnerable testimonials but their images are ultra staged and “picture perfect”.
Self care is not always picture perfect.
Yes, sometimes self care is luxurious and aesthetically pleasing. Self care does in fact come in the form of a made-bed, a clean room, a colorful meal or a bathtub full of bubbles.
But other times self care isn’t pretty at all. Sometimes it is so mundane we hardly give it a second thought.
Paying a bill on time is self care. Saving money instead of spending it is self care. Washing your hair when that seems like too much work is self care. Doing, folding, and putting away laundry is self care. Eating a full meal is self care. Staying in because you need to even though the cool thing is going out is self care. Researching, applying for, and going on job interviews is self care.
The list could go on and on. Many people have the luxury of seeing these kinds of activities as a given. Of course you would pay your bills on time. Of course you would eat a full meal or wash your hair. Unfortunately, the brain doesn’t always perceive these “every day things” as simple and doable, or we don’t realize how much the small steps could help in the long run, so they go undone.
These actions are also easily ignored to make time for others that seem more promising or pressing. But then the small tasks snowball into a list that seems daunting and completely unmanageable. If the small tasks had been addressed initially, you’d be smooth sailing and your list wouldn’t look like a CVS receipt.
I know this is a gross understatement making self care seem simple. But that reminds me of another post (thank you unending internet wisdom). It goes…
It was so simple and innocent, and made every daunting to-do list seem a little more manageable. It made me feel capable.
All I’m trying to say is to remember that self care comes in all forms. It is so important to truly take care of yourself, even when it doesn’t seem fun, or it isn’t “shareable”. Be patient with yourself as you form healthy habits. Remind yourself that the tedious, mundane tasks will keep your to-do list from becoming overwhelming.
Self care is a series of steps that can’t always be represented with aesthetically pleasing flat lays and portraits. But conquering everyday tasks and being mindful about your physical and mental health can only lead to positive consequences.
